Pbsboy's Blog

Welcome to my Nightmare

pbsboy — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 01:05:39 +0000

This morning I woke up in a daze. The previous night I went to bed too late, and as a result I was completely zonked in the morning. I woke up early so I could plan my day and get my things in order. I had plenty of time and plenty to plan, and eventually I wandered off to english class, except (there’s always an except with lack of sleep) when I arrived at school, I realised I had forgotten all the books I needed. Fabulous. Also, with all the stress of having 8 classes, a job, having to apply to university and having to book my tickets to Spain, I was a little emotional about today. My class went on basically hitchless, and then it was on to gym. I arrived at gym without my gym pants, which were also forgotten, and the teacher, who had before said to come to class no matter what, kicked me out. It was embarrassing and totally frustrating. The rest of the day was basically regular. Until I met up with my friend who managed to make it to gym, and guess what she said.

My class will be appearing next thursday on national television, doing a routine that we learned That Fucking Class. The one I missed.

So just a heads up, I’m probably going to be internet famous pretty soon. FUCK THIS WORLD!

Fox News and Christians

pbsboy — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 00:40:47 +0000

Every year, I dedicate a week of my life to get in touch with my spiritual self and try and become more worldly. This means I try and learn all I can about religious fundementalists and I watch fox news. I fucking love fox news. Watching it makes me so grateful to be Canadian. The news that comes out of fox news is pretty much the highest quality bullshit you can come by. I just love picturing some sad idiot watching Bill O’Reilly, nodding his or her head slowly and consistently, mumbling the occasional ‘amen’ whenever he says something totally ridiculous.

I don’t understand how the anchors can say lie after lie after lie with such fluidity. They must know at least some of them aren’t true. I have three theories to why and how the anchors there lie so hard.

1. They’re just plain old compulsive liars picked up off the street and given a job

2. They work for major corporations to feed lies to the public

3. They’re evil robots bent on destroying the human race. Or they’re aliens trying to take control of the earth. Or they’re evil robot-aliens.

I think the icing on the cake is how they call it ‘fair and balanced’, but I think that motto is just a little too easy to make fun of.

I also love getting my atheist on, checking out all the fundamentalist websites and watching angry youtubers pick apart religion. I love knowing that I’ve made the right moral decisions in life.

Hello my Precious

pbsboy — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 04:59:44 +0000

I shant go into the “sorry I haven’t posted in a while” thing. That has been done time and time again by far too many youtubers. I’m posting today. Be happy. Today is Monday Movies!

Today’s Monday movie is “Precious”. It’s a movie that you go into fully expecting to cry. I went in expecting to come out all disgusting and red eyed and feeling like I’ve learned something truly profound. That isn’t what I got. Don’t get me wrong, “Precious” is completely deserving of its oscar noms and all of it’s acclaim, but don’t expect a tear jerker, and don’t expect anything new.

For such a heavy, tragic storyline, Precious delivers a movie that’s surprisingly safe. The mother character, who you want so much to hate, is played like a fairytale monster. By that I mean that there’s very little context for her hostility, and the reasons she eventually gives for being such a bitch seem completely contrived. Maybe it was the acting, but that character was simply fake.

There is a substory to the film about Precious’ schooling. This story is a total cliche. There isn’t an inch of originality in it, there is actually a part in it where Precious is crying and saying ‘you don’t know me’ and the teacher says ‘write that down’, handing her a notebook.

You’ve Been Served

pbsboy — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 08:20:58 +0000

One downside to overthinking relationships (and not having relationships) is the fact that I’ll never have one messy divorce.

Everyone knows that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, and in the modern age a divorce is hardly a blemish (on paper). It’s almost like an accessory, like a fancy car or a rolex “I had a wife but I’m so successful we hardly ever saw each other”. The one thing that makes me want a messy divorce is that tired movie cliche. A non-descript man follows you to a party and stares at you until he gets your attention, then wanders over to you and hands you an envelop with the ominous words “mr. Fletcher, you’ve been served”.

Sexy.

BLHEG

pbsboy — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 04:31:05 +0000

So I haven’t blogged in a while. It’s winter, and I can’t stand it. When winter comes my grades drop and my size expands. When it’s winter I don’t even shower some days because I probably won’t communicate with the outside world anyways. I have been sitting, eating, baking, sleeping, and watching thirty rock. All. Holiday season.

At the moment I am wearing a greasy head of hair, 5 extra pounds, an ugly sweater from the Gap, and a scarf with a pom-pom. I am Liz Lemon without the carreer, I am the crazy cat lady without the cats, I am Susan Boyle without the voice. I am blob. I will move to the hottest possible climate as soon as humanly possible. I want my internal organs to FRY in the winter.

BTW. OMG! Liz Lemon gives relationship advice while at the same time never having a mildly successful relationship too!! BESTIES!

Why Xbox Sucks

pbsboy — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 04:00:28 +0000

So last night I was crunk playing my friends fable on her xbox (with her). That was a really bad sentence. Anyways, it dawned on me that xbox live is stupid.

No matter what game you play, a drinking game can be made from it. Games are social activities, like super smash bros or soul calibur, and these games lead to drinking, but with xbox live, you’re just drinking by yourself, legit, and drinking by yourself leads to alcoholism and drug addiction, and when you get addicted to drugs you spend all your money on drugs, therefore can’t afford xbox games. Duh.

Hiatus

pbsboy — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 04:56:07 +0000

Just so you all know, I am on hiatus. I will be back with full force sooon!

Monday Movie Madness

pbsboy — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 06:47:21 +0000

It has been a long, long time since a movie has got my blood boiling as much as todays movie did. Sometimes you see a movie and when its over you just think, this is it! They’ve figured it all out! I’ve been taught that stupid idea that a movie is just a movie, and you should never let it get to you. Mostly, this is true, and I often find myself getting carried away by some film, but sometimes a film hits such a vital nerve and delivers an idea with such an undeniably perfect honesty. This is why I was drawn to film; I want to create a work of art that passes through you like a ghost, and lingers around your head for months. These kinds of films represent an apex of satisfaction.

The film I just saw was Dr. Strangelove. It was brutal, and somehow hilarious. Gorgeously made, and perfectly cast. I don’t see any way this film could have been better.

so so good!

I’m OUT!

pbsboy — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 06:19:55 +0000

Does acting like a spinster make you a spinster? I think there’s a corrolation. That is precisely why I need to meet a boy. It is also why I just masturbated. Never before have I masturbated with such drive and determination, and I gotta say I’m a little proud.

So I lost a crappy little contest with Friend. At least he can’t really brag about it.

Before I did the deed, I realised that my life is sad and boyless, and by god, I need to get myself out of this rut. Now as punishment I am required to hit on a guy; perfect. I even prepared for the deed, making tea for myself to get my bloodsugar back up and placing a box of cigarettes next to my bed. I’m having afterglow with myself

Chasing Chubby

pbsboy — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:53:30 +0000

Chocolate sauce- devoured

Brownies – pretty much gone

Ice cream – half done

Self Respect – Missing in action

Even this is turning me on.... not really...

Remember when I said my libido was dead? Today it ressurected like a pheonix out of the ashes and I’ve been sex feinding. I still haven’t lost the contest but I almost gave into temptation on several occasions. I am now on a quest for sex. I don’t know quite how to go about it though, I don’t want to rejoin the trashy sites that I unsubscribed from, and I don’t want to be a slutterama. IfI leave my penis hanging for too long I’ll end up hooxing with someone I’ll regret. I

Why can’t I be normal and flirt? When I see a guy I like, I get nervous and don’t want to look like a tool so I avoid eye contact at all cost. I also usually close off my body language to them. I need to chilllllllll and learn to just do some non verbal communication. The ones that end up hitting on me are the ones I don’t even notice, therefore not closing myself off from them. Sigh.

I know it sounds melodramatic and eye-roll worthy, but I will never find a man.